Man, this time of year must be hard on a lot of people and it sucks. I have never really put much weight in it. Christmas is the same thing as the Fourth of July, just colder and therefore lamer. But man, in the past two weeks it’s been raining ex-boyfriends in a crazy way. The first was at the end of November, one of the first men I ever dated who had like a life and a career and a home spotted me walking down Gower on my way to Trader Joe’s. I had my headphones on and did not notice that he was trying to get my attention. He found my e-mail that evening and sent me a long message that end with, we should totally hangout. We shouldn’t.
Next was Sex King, he said he might come down to LA in the next few weeks and wondered what I was up to. What I am up to is trying not to succumb to his amazing sexual prowess. If he comes to LA I am running away, even though I probably shouldn’t.
After that was the painter/photographer, we had a really sordid affair because I met him as he was leaving LA but we have always been friendly. He just wanted me to know he would be in Hollywood for Christmas, we should get drinks. I can’t disagree with this, he is awesome.
Shortly after I thought about playing with my painter in the bottom of a glass of bourbon, I received a text from a guy I dated who still likes to tell me we will end up together. We will never end up together. He told me I should come with him to see his parents and I proclaimed that to be, quite possibly, the worst idea of all time. Then he told me to come to a party. I am probably heading to that party.
But then one of the guys I toyed with a whole bunch earlier this year saw me online today and sent me an Instant Message. “We should get drinks? Where are you living now? Are you happy?” Really, what difference does it make? I am free Tuesday. Take it or leave it. So Tuesday, I have plans with him.
And then there’s Married Boyfriend, who is consistently making plans for him and I, that I more often than not, have to find ways to get out of, even though I don’t want to. His wife’s having a gallery exhibition on the Westside and he wants me to be there. So I’ll be there but first I have to find a couth, cunning & awesome fellow to accompany me. The last time I went to one of their events solo, it was like a tragic nightmare of people trying to figure out what the implied intimacy between him and I was. And it wasn’t sex I can guarantee you that, which made whatever is between us, so much more threatening to his wife.
And there’s still 10 more days till Christmas, so I can’t see who decides to poke their head up and into the Sabrina-o-sphere. Cause I know there’s a whole bunch more I’d like to see and even more I’d like to turn down for eternity.
