She’s A Small Wonder

I haven’t felt like writing. Which has nothing to do with anything I plan to write about today. Today I am going to write about farting. Man, farting is awesome. I can feel nearly 500 lbs. and then I fart totally big and all that gas is expelled and I feel awesome. Since no one likes smelling anyone else’s farts people like me are destined for a lifetime of farting in secrecy. If you’re lucky enough to become close to me, I will abandon this idea of social normalcy and fart in a way that is unfounded in front of you. Really, my favorite thing to do is wait till I am in my car, driving around, with a worthy passenger, and then place the windows on childlock and proceed to hot box the poor mother fucker within a moment of their last breath. Farts are awesome. I guess I am not supposed to waste your time with posts about farts when I’ve been avidly avoiding blogging, but I felt like fart-talking you all and that’s all I have left for now.