Nymphomania or Narcolepsy? 2.0

Jesus man, my parents really raised a wild pack of children in the oddest way possible. My brother and I were hanging out before he left for Costa Rica last night and were listening to Willie Nelson and talking about how it reminded us of our childhoods.  Basically, imagine a couple that decided to simultaneously shelter and force their children into society at the same time.  What I mean by this is the fact that my parents basically thought it would be wise to tell us that the entire world is insane.  I suppose they could have given us some mirrors and been like Watch the way you act in public.  Watch how we act too. But I suppose that would be asking a lot.

Instead of being like all the other boring parents and letting us hang out with kids our own age, we could hangout with my dad’s friend Mike or our closeted gay uncle.  Mike was a Korean Vet.  He had no plans for anything and liked tinkering with things like boats, cars and guns.  My parents thought it was a good idea for him to take us to the shooting range.  Nothing says fit for children quite like guns and veterans.  Oh yea, did I happen to mention his absolute love for prostitutes.  Maybe this is where my hatred for relationships comes from.  Every time he got a chance he’d be like Ugh, no one wants a woman around forever.  They’re pains in the asses.  You know what isn’t though, paying for sex. Um, ok.  Way to go mom & dad.  Way to go.