Monthly Archives: March 2008

I actually made this for one person, but I am such a magnificent giver that I figure FUCK IT all you idiots deserve a copy. Here in Los Angeles it is a fortifiable summertime and I am milking it for … Continue reading →

Holy shit, I just had a drunk flashback, and I better hurry up and write it before I forget or fall asleep. Last week, when I went wild at Erika’s birthday, there were these douchebags that had a band. I … Continue reading →

These picture posts are fucking with my general blogging mojo because I feel like I spend more time talking about what’s happening in the photos than I do coming up with a cohesive ditty that has some sort of point, … Continue reading →

So it was my brother’s girlfriend’s birthday and I had this great idea to get everybody that didn’t need to be in a bar to meet in a bar and get absolutely wasted. At the same time, I was supposed … Continue reading →

Oh my pretty little pets.  I’ve neglected you dearly.  To be honest these past couple of weeks have been trying to say the least and then my dog broke his dick yesterday and I about went bonkerinos because I realized … Continue reading →

One of the most terrible things that can happen is when you go on a date with some dude that you are not even interested in, but you figure why not?  Then he is like I AM GOING TO SHOW … Continue reading →

BEST THING EVER. “I’m gonna babysit your vagina” and “The backseats big enough you can perform an abortion in it. Which comes in pretty handy when you perform as many abortions as I do, which is A LOT!  Because I … Continue reading →

I guess I owe a blog post.  Too bad I have been incredibly busy revisiting my alcoholism to sit around typing shit here.  Amazingly enough, I think my sister made a brilliant point.  I just fucking hate the winter and … Continue reading →

I guess I will write this up as a short story eventually, but for now I will just go ahead and explain to you the dream I had last night because it included sex with Daniel Day Lewis, Nick Swordson … Continue reading →

I was just watching this and I realized that it is absolutely indicative of most nights where I party as hard as possible. That part where the apple pie trees come to life–I HAD THAT HAPPEN ONCE AFTER DOWNING A … Continue reading →