Monthly Archives: November 2007

Now that I have written that I am super fucking jealous that I am a shitty writer and it’s really set a fire under my ass.  What the fuck is wrong with me?  You can’t even begin to answer that … Continue reading →

“My heart is in the yard like snow” I wish I could take credit for writing that, but then again, I really could since I am a diluted asshole. I didn’t write that. For reasons I am not clear on–the … Continue reading →

Hilariously, these are some of the photos I found while looking in the camera I forgot I owned.  They are from my visit to Chicago earlier this month.  Please take the time to check out the photo montage of the … Continue reading →

Holy shit, I have been baking all night long because not only am I the prime minster of good health, but I am Miss Mary Sunshine & Betty Fucking Crocker all rolled up into one. I bet you wouldn’t even … Continue reading →

I wish I knew when I took this picture. I guess drunken blackouts are good for more than just forgetting anything you have done. THEY FILL YOUR LIFE WITH SURPRISES YOU WON’T EVEN KNOW ABOUT TILL LATER. So my laptop … Continue reading →

God, now that I am the world’s most healthy human being please bow down to my total greatness. Here is something that you should be jealous of–that dude from John From Cincinnati is in love with me–and if he isn’t … Continue reading →

I’ve been riding the bus two and from work for the past four weeks. Today, across from me sits inside out wig lady and in front of me, pee your pants guy. My car went missing a month ago and … Continue reading →

Yo yo yo! What’s up? Hello! I like to eat pie and get spanked with a spatula. My name is cigarette taker. And that’s they way it is. If you fuck with me I’ll fuck with you. Yes ma’am. I’m … Continue reading →

These are my real thoughts. Somehow I got a free trip to Chicago and I am taking advantage of that because I am not a fucking moron. SO I go to Chicago tomorrow in the morning and continue the chaotic … Continue reading →