Monthly Archives: March 2007

Hollywood’s burning and that is the end of childhood as we know it. It was like a giant fireball from hell had descended down upon the city and people kept calling and saying GO OUTSIDE. THE CITY, THE CITY IS … Continue reading →

It has been brought to my attention that a lot of people are unaware what the term “Eighty-Six” means. These people probably do not bother to get drunk enough in public places to be thrown out on their ass. These … Continue reading →

Oftentimes I wonder if people have any idea how fucking spoiled I am. I never heard the word no growing up, and when I did hear it I knew it was a matter of time before I would end up … Continue reading →

Sometimes I am at a strangers house and I am like WHOA, I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU. NOW I WILL GET ON YOUR COFFEE TABLE AND DARE MEN TO FLASH ME THEIR DICKS. You have been dared! And then other … Continue reading →

Here is a clever memo. Stay out of my way witch face cause it turns out I know all sorts of things about you and your life and I will happily use them against you. Take this spectacular picture for … Continue reading →

Erin and I just booked tickets to NYC. Fuckin’-a, we have the world’s worst impulse control. See you in a couple of weeks. Yo! So yea, I went mental this morning and was like AHH, I HAVE TO ESCAPE AGAIN. … Continue reading →

It isn’t every day that I have a crazy fist fight with my sister where I try to jump out of a moving vechicle and suicide all over the street. In her defense, I tried to end myself and she … Continue reading →

Happy St. Patrick’s Day. Yes, this is probably not safe for work, but I am drunk and it is funny and I hate your work and probably you. No, those are not my tits. THEY ARE MELISSA MIDWEST’S. Go bother … Continue reading →

I think my neighbor is murdering his family right now. I guess I will lay off the drugs. Still, I would be elated and accomplished if I woke up to police and yellow tape all over his house because I … Continue reading →

HEADS DOWN, THUMBS UP–IT’S TIME TO PLAY SEVEN UP. Today, the music died, or was that when John Lennon died, seriously what is the difference anymore? I used to have this friend named Bowen but then she started to look … Continue reading →