Monthly Archives: August 2006

This piece, this fucking bastard, I wrote this fucker three times already. Each time I was anywhere close to finished something catastrophic happened and the computer ate it, or blogger ate it, or someone I knew turned off my computer … Continue reading →

I AM IN FUCKING SAN FRANCISCO. I FORGOT TO BRING PANTS. IF YOU WANT TO DO THE NON-PANTS DANCE WITH ME AND ARE IN THE SAN FRANCISCO AREA PLEASE MEMO ME ASAP. ALSO, YOU CAN BUY ME A DRINK AND … Continue reading →

Sometimes you stop drinking because you’re afraid you’re gonna wake up more bloated than Jim Morrison, but then you stop sleeping for two days and realize that perhaps chemical dependency is less a problem and more a lifestyle. So you … Continue reading →

Every now and again you run into someone you used to date and it is like WHOA, WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOU? And then they tell you they got married and left the state of California because it was just … Continue reading →

Life is war and war is a business. My life is a business and I am marketing it in a way where people want to invest. People invest because I am destroying my life with such an incredible sense of … Continue reading →

It’s a giant joke, you know, when people tell me that I cannot have everything I want. Guess what, I realized that was bullshit years ago–so regarding my exotica trip of sex and salacious behavior in Hawaii–I don’t need a … Continue reading →

Sometimes I have to sit around and wonder what I’d do with my life if I didn’t devote so much time and preoccupation to the men of the world. I probably’d be a surgeon or maybe a world famous philanthropist. … Continue reading →

I would be sort of lonely except for the fact that the Italian National Water Polo team was busy asking me to accompany them back to wherever the hell their perfect bodies were levitating and I am not even that … Continue reading →

Sometimes you take millions of pills and wash them down with a half a bottle of vodka and then you sit down in the pool without your pants on waiting for everything to kick in. Until you finally realize that … Continue reading →