Monthly Archives: May 2006

I’ve been exceptionally sick for about a week. Once I started dying and stuff I told my mother I thought it was AIDS. Then her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she fainted. What was really funny … Continue reading →

People always wanted to know how it was that I never end up in jail. Just lucky I guessed. Last night I drank less and medicated more–sipping, swigging out of a bottle of codeine–for a cough, which may or may … Continue reading →

When I grow up I plan to be this little old lady. Let’s face it, aging is sorta shitty, but if you’re 75-years-old and still able to do a three-story long beer bong. You’re fucking awesome.

The perfect situation–when I found it, when I stumbled my vagina upon it–in this sort of intense angry way–I had to hear about his inability to have a relationship. Truly, and I am drunk so this is that much more … Continue reading →

There are blackbirds flapping in my head–pecking away at all my common sense. Sometimes I try to shoe them away, but instead I get invitations to go lie by the pool at the Mondrian Hotel and keep drinking and taking … Continue reading →

i live life hard because life will live you anyways. what’s the point of acting like everything is gonna kill you and being totally careful. i’ve been totally careful. i’ve been nice and i’ve seen stuff. i am tragedy in … Continue reading →

Behold! My weekend recap accompanied by the pictures that people took of me through out my four day drunken rampage. “You need a guardian or one of those people that follows around retarded kids to make sure they don’t blow … Continue reading →