Monthly Archives: May 2006

Sabrina (1:59:49 AM): I WARS JUST THINKING OF YOUChristenWinsHAHA (2:00:03 AM): awwwSabrina (2:00:14 AM): i know, right?ChristenWinsHAHA (2:00:17 AM): Im all emotional because I took 3 somasSabrina (2:00:19 AM): i left you a myspace commentSabrina (2:00:23 AM): 3 somas is … Continue reading →

Saint Patrick’s Blackoutas presented in No-Fi magazine Maybe where you’re from Saint Patrick’s Day is a big deal. Maybe it isn’t. I can’t be the judge of such things because my powers of omnipotence have been revoked. At any rate, … Continue reading →

There was the time my period was missing for longer than needed be and on the way to buy a toothbrush at Target I decided I might need to know if I really had the option of giving birth to … Continue reading →

I make fast cash. Contrary to popular belief this has nothing to do with hand jobs, blow jobs or donkey punches. In college, I’d write any term paper, of any legnth relatively quick with fairly decent results. Lately, I’ve been … Continue reading →

This audioblog is worth listening to. Not because I am staggeringly drunk, tripping over my words and chanting about spinning. I’ve finally figured out how to post the bizarre voicemails I get from ex-beaus, or you know not ex-beaus in … Continue reading →

I keep telling my friends, “I need to slow down. I dunno if my body can take much more of this.” We agree I’m right and then someone orders me a double shot of Jameson and tells me to, “Take … Continue reading →

It’s like I just woke up and there were little imprints, tattoos imprinted all over my arms that say, “USDA GRADE CHOICE” and I start freaking out because I don’t want to be branded like a fucking COW. They are … Continue reading →

This weekend was categorized by my ability to finish an entire bottle of Stoli Vodka–not the tiny one either. The big one. Officially, I am a drunk. Or too adept at drinking. It really just depends on how you look … Continue reading →

I have literally spent the last two-and-a half hours tearing apart my room looking for pain killers. There is absolutely no reason I shouldn’t be able to find any. Since way back when I broke my neck in 2001 I’ve … Continue reading →

My mother says to me, “I dunno what I did to screw you all up, but you’re all a set of basket cases.” And she turns to me and sighs really deeply like she just heard that she’s cancer free–admitting … Continue reading →