I am short on time so I’m gonna make this quick. When I broke my neck back in 2001, I made this insane list of shit that I would do when I recovered. Now that I am recovered, I’ve been doing all sorts of shit off that list. Of which, one of the things was dancing on a bar. Let me tell you, it is awesome, but not nearly as awesome as it should be. At this point, it’s definitely played out. I guess if you do it in the very least, once a month, it loses its magic. On that note, I danced on the bar for-like-ever last night. At some point, I was wearing a fuzzy black angora hat. This guy kept harassing me about it. So I told him about it. I realized it was his in to talk to me. So I made it an out. I said I’d draw him a diagram of it if he needed. Then when he said it would help I told him to just get a picture of an old black lady’s pussy because it is basically the same thing. He walked off immediately after. After that, I did a shot to Chuck Norris’s deceased brother Weiland Norris. He was “cut down by the Viet Cong just shy of his 28th birthday.” RIP Weiland, RIP. And sorry about laughing so hard during the toast to you.