Posted on February 15, 2006 by

In case you missed it last year. Here is my award winning essay entitled, “Valentines Day Causes Herpes”:

“When I see a woman I look at her vagina, breasts, lips and legs. Yea,” he pauses ignorantly. “I look at them in that exact order.” Wow! I am so lucky. I got to hear those exact words come out of the mouth of a guy trying to pick up on me. Upon hearing it I was so incredibly elated with his obtuse romanticism that I punched him in the throat. Then I ran over to his car an immediately pissed all over it. Being a subtle girl, I wanted to do as much as possible to show him how I felt in return. Where I am from, that type of behavior is called courting and almost always leads to fucking, but not necessarily dating. Gosh, doesn’t that sound like fun? Doing all the dating bullshit to just get fucked over reminds me of the most invalid holiday in the history of holidays, Valentines Day.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

Gravatar
WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. ( Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out / Change )

Cancel

Connecting to %s